KidLit Buzzwords: What Does It Mean to Be Commercially Unpublishable?

It’s one thing to be unpublishable; it’s another to be commercially unpublishable.

Unpublishable means you can’t write. The work is drivel and probably deserves a place in the dustbin.

Commercially unpublishable means you can write, your work is really good and probably deserves a place in the dustbin.

Commercially unpublishable is far more kind and perhaps that’s why it’s being tossed around so much. It came up at least twice at the 2011 Rutgers One on One, and I’d heard it used several times before that.

What Commercially Unpublishable Means in Children’s Literature

Commercially unpublishable means that there’s no demand in the market for it. This doesn’t mean the piece isn’t good; it doesn’t even mean the intended audience wouldn’t love. It’s just that agents or editors don’t see a place fore it in the market. Take this example:

A picture book is written for children 5-8 years old. The intended audience will love it, says the editor or agent, but the picture book market for 5-8 year olds is dead because parents believe children that age should be reading chapter books so they can start getting ready for college.

Five or ten years ago, that manuscript might have been publishable. It’s well-written, has a great story arc and follows certain picture book precepts. It might even be publishable in another 5 years, if the market changes. But right now, it’s commercially unpublishable.

Consider other "dead" children’s markets:

Young Adult: vampires (market is glutted)

Middle Grade: historical fiction (sales down)

Picture books: Halloween (market is glutted), rhyming books

At least that’s what I’ve been told by various editors. They simply aren’t looking for them, though they always add the caveat: “Of course, there’s always room in the market if it’s well done.”

Which is the point Jon Sciezska, Harold Underdown and others made at Rutgers : it’s only commercially unpublishable until it’s published and someone buys it. Sciezska struggled to publish The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs, but it turned out it was commercial after all. Mo Willems struggled to see Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus in print and then it took off, launched a series, and spawned a terrific career.

The market may not have known it, but it was commercially publishable after all.

Summary: Commercially unpublishable is frustrating but not as bad as unpublishable. At least it means you can write, but the market has no idea what to do with you.

Or so  I've been told.
Good luck!

What I Learned At Rutgers – Not the University, the Council on Children’s Literature

I attended the 42nd annual Rutgers Council on Children’s Literature this past weekend. It is a writers conference of high renowned and in that regard, did not disappoint.

Before we get into the words of wisdom and the what-editors-are-looking-for nuggets, let me say that I was happy to see three other children’s writers from the Capital District (yeah, us!) in attendance. Heather Schwartz (Women of the U.S. Air Force; The Foul, Filthy American Frontier), Victoria DeAngelis and Dan Masucci, all talented in their own right.

Rutgers One on One

My One on One was with Emma Ledbetter, assistant editor at Atheneum. We went over Leaping Lemmings for about 20 minutes or so. She provided several good ideas and seemed adept at working with writers, asking me for my input, etc. It was less a lecture or critique and more of a collaborative effort. We then talked about other projects I’m working on. She seemed most impressed with an middle grade I’m working on which is good, because starting that project was inspired by another editor at Atheneum. I’ll have to get back to that middle-grade manuscript very soon.

Rutgers Five on Five

Emma, of course, was also part of the five professionals in our five-on-five, in this case four editors and one author. Let’s hit the highlights of what they agreed on are industry trends.

• Mash-Ups. Everyone’s in love with mash-ups, you know, those books that take two archetypes and bring them together. Everyone was looking for the next Shark vs. Train (kids love sharks and trains. It’s a natural), or something similar to a new book from Atheneum, Zombies in Love (can be promoted on Halloween and Valentine’s Day).
• Crossovers. Something that can be sold in more than one genre, particularly with undiscovered adult appeal. A lot of YA has this (adults love dystopian almost as much as teen-agers), but so do some picture books, like It’s a Book. Also Zombies in Love. The book is shaped like a coffin for that reason, and filled with dating references and frustrations adults (zombie or otherwise) will get.
• Trends in Children's Literature. All the editors are looking 3-5 years out to figure out what the next big thing is. For instance, if three years ago you guessed food as this year’s hot topic for teens, you’re a big winner. I’m guessing if the economy doesn’t improve, food will continue to be big in three years. And so will starvation.
• Interactive Apps. No one seems to know exactly which way the e-book industry is headed, but it’s certainly going to continue to grow and print books will someday be a novelty item. With that in mind, editors are keeping an eye open for books that come with all sorts of bells and whistles to keep young readers entertained. Probably easiest for the board book, picture book, chapter book, and non-fiction markets, but all books can have pop-ups, links, maps, graphs, etc. Even dark, dystopian YA. After all, readers need to know their way around those mean streets, too.

Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say a word about the day’s keynote speaker, Jon Scieszka. His speech was funny (as expected), but had its underlying serious side, first with Guys Read, an organization he began 10 years ago to encourage boys to find the books they enjoy. As he said, he read Dick and Jane in school, but home had the books he couldn’t put down. As boys fall further and further behind girls in school, particularly in reading, it’s an important message and important work.

But then he talked of rejection, a big topic at every conference, as publishing houses struggle to turn a profit and seem to sign fewer and fewer writers, or keep signings close to the vest. He discusses his own struggles in the late ‘80s, with plenty of rejections for The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs and The Stinky Cheese Man. He kidded the four or five dozen editors in the room with the pain of that time. At least it felt that way, because editors often made absurd suggestions about his submitted manuscripts. Called them “commercially unpublishable” (another buzzword at the conference. It came up at least twice, plus I heard it on Thursday from an agent). He told them they “need to get out more” and said, only half-jokingly, “you are the enemy.”

Can’t say I’d go that far, but I understand the sentiment, even if, for him, it’s coming 20 years later.

To sum up, while Rutgers didn’t turn out to be my best networking conference, it turned out to be the second-most instructive and the most business-oriented. I think I’ll apply next year. Maybe with that middle grade Emma seemed to like…

Seriously Funny Books for April Fools' Day

Holiday books are generally popular, particularly if they relate to Christmas or Halloween (which have entire seasons to move product), and some books are twisted into holiday sales (Patriotic? Move it to July 4^th! Has a rabbit? Make it Easter).

April Fools’ Day is one of those holidays kids love – not usually for the pranks, but the chance to tell jokes that have them rolling on the floor. Kids love to laugh, yet this holiday gets one day – April 1^st.

Well, here are three books perfect for this undercelebrated holiday – two with the day in mind and one that’s good anytime.

Funny Books for April Fools’ Day

1. Look Out, It’s April Fools’ Day. New Yorker cartoonist and
   Sesame Street
   writer Frank Morell penned this book back in !985. Found it in my local library. Melvin spends a day trying to trick Marvin without any luck. Marvin just won’t be fooled. It isn’t until he says something true – in a classic gag – that they end up sharing a laugh and enjoying the rest of the day.

2. April Fool! Watch Out at School. Diane deGroat’s Gilbert can’t wait to pull off a whole series of pranks at school in this 2010 book. His only problem is everyone else has the same idea. Gilbert can’t get a joke in edgewise, at least until he comes up with a new plan. A plan that keeps a classmate constantly worried that “he’s next.”

3. I Will Surprise My Friend. The second book on this list from a
   Sesame Street
   writer, Mo Willems, isn’t about April Fools’ Day at all, but can be twisted toward that end. Elephant and Piggie decide to surprise each other, a trick that doesn’t go according to plan. Which means, of course, they end up surprising each other in a whole other way. Great fun, as always, from Mo.

Thanks for reading this post. And I know I didn’t keep up my end of the bargain – if I really celebrated April Fools’ Day like a kid, my April Fools’ list wouldn’t have included any April Fools’ books! The old bait and switch. Gets ‘em every time.

Well, maybe next time. Happy April Fools’ Day!

Being Funny in Picture Books

In honor of one of the great all-time kid holidays, April Fools’ Day…

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan to tell you a joke.

What’s better than a child sitting on your lap laughing over a joke that’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard? It’s a bonding moment for both of you.

So how did the writer come up with that joke? How did she make it work?

There’s an old saying: “funny is funny.” Ahh, not so much. While some of the rules are the same, there are differences when it comes to writing comedy for kidlit.

Writing Humor for Children

1.      Wacky Is Wonderful, but don’t overdo it. Kids like crazy, but know when to pull back. Make your story relatable. Kids will buy almost any premise from Page 1, but you have to make sure they still buy it at page 30. Kids can accept a prince turned into a frog, but a fly turned into a prince turned into a frog who’s now forced to eat flies may be a bit much. Study P.D. Eastman’s Go, Dog, Go! as a way to build wacky.

      2.      Ignore the Rule of Three – unless it works. Comedy often has the rule of three: the first two are normal and establish the pattern; the third breaks it and gets laughs. With young readers, you can often use the Rule of One. Insert jokes right after the situation has been established, a funny line, a remark, etc. Children accept the situation as normal right from the start. Mo Willems, in his latest, I Broke My Trunk!, uses the Rule of Three when Gerald explains how he balanced a rhino, then a hippo, then a hippo with a piano, on his trunk. This builds in absurdity and a hippo with a piano is funny, but he saves the big laugh for one line at the end from Piggy. You should feel comfortable doing the same.

      3.      Build, Build, Build. Associated with #2 is Start Small and Escalate. Never make the second scene smaller than the first. If you have a child walking down the street on a blistering summer day and he spots a friend riding a Slip ‘n’ Slide with a penguin, the next scene probably shouldn’t be grandma sipping iced tea in front of a fan. Embrace the wacky and build on it.

4.      Create Humor From Characters – A great rule for just about any story. Would your character say or do that? Don't just have your character say something that is funny just to insert a funny line. Even consistently funny characters have a style. Is your character funny by playing it straight (The Pigeon)? Funny by being mischievous (The Cat in the Hat)? Weird, odd, cute, over-the-top?

5.      Remember Your Audience. One parent joke per book is fine. Kids will roll with it and accept it as part of the story (see Nick Bruel’s Bad Kitty for great examples of this), but too many jokes over their head will lose them. If you can write jokes everybody gets, great, but focus on your audience first. Parents may curse you after the 30^th reading, but their children will ask for a 31^st time. And they might just ask for your next book, too.

6.      They’ve Never Heard Old Jokes Before – but your editor has. An old joke may be fine; children don’t know the classics. But your editor will want originality and parents may groan. An old joke now and then may be OK, but why are you trying to be funny if you can’t write jokes? Come up with your own. It will help you sell your manuscript to a publisher and the parents.

7.      Sometimes It’s Just a Sketch. Sometimes a kid’s book is just a sketch. I felt that way with Mo’s I Broke My Trunk. It’s funny, but it strikes me as a sketch, whereas We Are In a Book, Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, and others have more depth. The point is, you can write just a sketch. As long as it’s funny, it has a place in children’s literature. Children don’t know it’s just a sketch.

8.      Bodily Functions Are OK for Boys and Girls – but mostly boys. Girls think bodily functions are funny because they’re inappropriate, but editors and parents generally think they’re for boys, and at some point, they will be. Girls will outgrow them sooner. Low-brow can be OK, and some writers like Alan Katz (Take Me Out of the Bathtub and other Silly Dilly books) do it brilliantly and consistently, but if it’s not your forte, don’t force it. Just don’t be afraid of it either.

9.      Use Artwork Whenever Possible. Sometimes artwork sells the scene, sometimes it is the joke. If you’re an illustrator, you can punch up a scene with a look on a character’s face, motion lines and who knows what else. For you writers, don’t tell the illustrator what happens in a scene unless absolutely necessary, but don’t be afraid to list basic art notes if you absolutely have to. But if you have to, ask yourself if words are even needed for that scene. Rely on the illustrator. You’re a team!

Kids, like all readers want to be pulled in. Use humor to fill in around a compelling story. Funny can keep things moving, it can keep readers coming back for more, but humor isn’t the heart of your book, it’s the soul. Less tangible, but able to give it life.

Be aware that your reader will not have your voice, and so often comedy is not what you say, but how you say it. Parents and children may get better with each read (as they learn the words, rhythm, inflections, etc), but as a test run, have someone read your story back to you out loud. Does the comedy work in a cold read? Can they quickly grasp how to tell your jokes?

Oh, and remember, comedy is subjective. Someone will almost think it’s the driest thing they’ve ever ready. But as Jerry Seinfeld noted, he’s convinced every show he’s ever done someone walked away thinking he’s the worst comedian they’ve ever seen. And that’s Seinfeld! Or as comedian Tommy Moore says, “The audience is the variable.” Some of them will love you, some will not. Go back to the ones who do.

(Whew! Writing about comedy is hard work. Next time I’m writing about sleeping.)